Cooing like a Pigeon

In a recurring dream, I sit in hell with the great and good leaders of the world’s systems of social control, surrounded by a furnace, and we attend an interfaith session chaired by Satan. One by one, we rise, wish each other the best of luck and good fortune, and using hackneyed platitudes, we eulogise each other’s beliefs and narratives, and remind each other how similar we all really are. Then Satan stands up and launches into a rambling account of a life of sin and deception, “it’s an individual based theology, it’s about personal proclamation, we too believe in God,” he says as we murmur supportive noises. Then it’s my turn, I rise to my feet and say “My name is Baybers and I too, am an interfaith-oholic”, and the meeting begins.

When religions communicate, it can only be a good thing, so why the problem? The interfaith gravy train in Australia is typical of the government’s desire to meddle in community affairs, and its corruption of community governance with the use of public funds. It is not the meeting of faiths that is the problem, rather it is when government meddles in a place which it has no role. Your tax dollars go to lubricate self-appointed “community leaders” who mouth empty platitudes that ensure a reserved seat at the trough. The very real work that is required between religions is not addressed, but many white feathered birds are released from captivity to a chorus of applause and faux sobs. It can be very entertaining, it’s not everyday that one gets to coo like a pigeon, on the public purse.

One of the last interfaith meetings that I attended was held in an ornate heritage-listed government building. So desperate were the organizers for a venue worthy of their opinion of themselves, that they accepted a Friday evening booking, although it ensured that no religious Jew could possibly attend. The gathering was large, well funded and well attended by all religious and cultural groups (including those Jews who did not observe the Sabbath). In keeping with the history of such an august venue, clichés flowed liberally all evening: we were all the same; we all worshiped the same God; we should all love each other; and all the world’s ills would be solved if religions would just get along (which is so untrue as to make the me doubt both the education and sanity of the author, had I not lapsed into unconsciousness long before).

Another lavish interfaith dinner that I attended was the result of an unspent government grant to a Muslim “organisation’ that would be more correctly termed a family (i.e. father, mother and teenage children). The culmination of the night’s festivities was the chutzpah of the hostess who had arranged for herself to be eulogized on stage by her daughter and then awarded with a bouquet of flowers.

The highlight of my career as an interfaithist was, however, a small suburban gathering chaired by a hard eyed dominatrix: Stella. From memory, there was a Hindu, a Zoroastrian, a Buddhist, a Catholic layman, and two of us “Mozlems”. Stella took her leadership very seriously, and in typical Teutonic fashion “ve all had to schit to ze rules”. I was immediately punished for leaving my interfaith hymn book at home. At this gathering the Zoroastrian lamented at his dwindling brotherhood, the Catholic was so unintelligible in the English language (”an Aussie from way back”) that my friend had to speak on his behalf, and explain Catholicism to him and to us all. Then Stella enforced an interfaith timeout, where we had to close our eyes and rotate our head about in a circular arc while we thought about spirituality. I made faces at the Hindu fellow, until Stella caught me and asked me to leave the gathering for some time of personal reflection, after which, sadly I was asked to participate once again. I briefly toyed with the idea removing my pants and saying “I’m a teapot”, but decided against this at the last moment.

At none of these occasions did I hear or participate in any discussion beyond the level of hummus or pitta bread preference. Issues of common interest such as euthanasia, circumcision or even approaches to religious education in a secular society were never brought up; perhaps being too controversial for the “post-modern religerarty” who I surmised would appreciate a variety of “equally valid interpretations and opinions” on any subject you care to name.

Interfaith meetings across the world are a natural consequence of people of goodwill meeting to temper the increasing polarisation of humanity. I support these endeavours and hope to participate in them. The problem arises with intention, public funds and official sanction, that attracts not public servants but office seekers. In many places where the government is forbidden by law to interfere, genuine religious debate occurs between the center-ground of one faith and the center of another. The meetings are almost all small gatherings, where discussion is sharply focused by issues or circumstance. I hope that this is a problem unique to Australia, where public policy that is drafted under the national ethos of “short term expediency over principle whenever possible”, allows the government to meddle in and fund what it considers to be acceptable forms of religious expression.

Although government cannot fund religion directly, it can and has used money to distort the Muslim community. Both federal and state governments lubricate people and opinions that they wish to cultivate. One would ask if a Labor government would ever fund a discussion between Muslim, Jews and Catholics on the topic of limiting abortions? Clearly it would not, but it is quite happy for any number of religious groups to attend a photo-op and leave. People who do this repeatedly will be invited to be professional religierarty, on the Queen’s shilling. The community’s needs and aspirations are then subsumed by a layer of “brown-sahibs” who, funded by the government purse, do its bidding in the community.

However let me finish by saying, that I thought the hummus was delicious, and that we are all spiritual beings, possessed of an inner light, (except for those who believe there is no inner light). I would close with the reminder, “That we too believe in God”.