As the English seek to impose their values on immigrants, we say to Muslims don’t do it, its tantamount to child abuse.
Cricket takes a long time to play, when overseas touring teams come to Australia, we can see close up what they are like, Pakistanis are aggressive, rude and oscillate between menacing and lazy (in equal measure), fine boned Indians are unfailingly polite as they unfailingly capitulate to the hosts, but for outright cowardice, none lay a glove on the Engerlanders. This tour was no exception.
This time around the tour got off to a typical start with one of the senior English batsmen stating that he was looking forward to the toughness of the series, seven days later he was off home with his tail between his legs after being “diagnosed” with a stress related illness for which I believe the medical jargon is “running home to mummy”. Before everyone erupts and tells me about the epidemic of depression etc, I should say that I do have sympathy with the well documented plight of the millionaire international sportsman, which ranks just above the Darfurian child or the Gazan teenager as the most hostile emotional environment on earth.
What is unsurprising is that of all the cricketers to suffer such a fate, it happened to an Englishman. This comes from a failing culture where therapy and victimology have replaced the stiff upper lip and keeping it all in. The high priests of the therapy culture tell us that this is precisely what you must not do; like one’s genitals it is now fashionable to let it all hang out. Matthew Hoggart’s confession that after the second test defeat all he wanted was a hug from his wife, sums it all up really. I am only surprised that he did not insist on returning to the womb
One would have expected that the bastion of British conservatism, the Tory party (where even the women were masculine) would provide a suitable antidote, but alas no, even its current leader has been mistaken for a woman, by the staff of the Spectator. The marauding metro-sexual from Notting Hill, is the new the face of Tory conservatism (Baybers shudders). It does not matter that he did not actually say “hug a hoodie“, it is the sort of thing that he would say, but why stop at hugging, breast milk has also sorts of biological benefits, so why not breastfeed a hoodie? No better way for men to discover their feminine side.
I mean how intimidating is the tweedy bird voiced David Beckham, I can think of only canines being distressed by his high pitched whine, James Earl Jones he is not.
English sport has moved from being a metaphor about the decline of British masculinity, to an example of it. Time to bring in the real men or lose the grass-court title forever, and ensure that the only Ashes that the Poms ever taste, is that of their own defeat.
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Glad I am Scottish.
They are a nation of girly mans
To write an article about the (near) death of English masculinity is relevant (and hilarious, I must admit) and Baybers couldn’t have picked a better candidate than Tim Henman, who is seriously one Wimbledon cry away from being a complete girl. But I think Baybers needs to be a tad sensitive towards Henman’s feelings as I heard he recently had an operation to finally cut that umbilical cord, and that’s the ultimate boo boo in Tim’s world.
Speaking of which, I’d like to take this opportunity to launch a special appeal, if anyone should find Beckham’s missing Y chromosome, I say we donate it to Henman for Christmas; Becks has retired as captain but Henman still has years of disappointment ahead of him.
Anyways, the fact that all these non-men happen to be English is just bad luck, but we can not blame bad luck forever. I think the main problem here is the British public have been like loving wives to these boys, they have supported them through thick and thin, believed in them when the rest of the world didn’t, cheered them on when they cried, stood in the rain as they failed, understood and forgiven them when they lost. And in the end, they have never exceeded any expectations or wins from all this obstructive mothering. Real men learn that masculinity isn’t given, it must be earned. So it’s a great injustice to these guys. You support a boy’s loss and losing is all he knows. In future, he’ll play well but you can not guarantee his losing instincts won’t kick in. If he doesn’t have the fear of rejection and humiliation (instead of open arms and heroism) taunting him, if you lovingly stroke that fear out of him, then he will literally hit/kick/throw like a girl and you’ll have no one to blame but yourself.
Basboosa wrote: …if you lovingly stroke that fear out of him, then he will literally hit/kick/throw like a girl and you’ll have no one to blame but yourself.
Milady likes to watch “Supernanny,” and I’ve caught an episode or two. The one thing that amazes me with all these problem children is how none of the parents punish their kids despite all their misdeeds. Corporal punishment? Horrors! My parents would never have tolerated such misbehavior out of me and my siblings, nor would I or Milady out of any of our kids (or our neices and nephew for that matter). I watch “Supernanny” and can’t help but wonder:
* Is this how British “yob” culture got its start, because British parents couldn’t control their kids?
* Is this the same country that produced a world-wide empire?
* Is Britain then nothing but a country full of pussies?
It sure seems like it.
An old joke, rehashed goes:
In Paula Yates’ passing, England lost the chance of its greatest ever cricket captain.
The only pom in recent times to travel to Australia, f*** the Aussies and bring back the ashes (cue drum roll).
In answer to JDsg. In all probability; yes – bar your last question. Us child beaters just keep out heads low.
As-Salaamu ‘alaikum,
I wouldn’t be so quick to blame British yob culture on lax middle-class parents who won’t hit, because a lot of the out-of-control kids aren’t from that background anyway. Remember that we have a lot of single-parent families (by choice – I’m not talking about cases of widowhood or even divorce).
Waleikum Assalam
As you may have guessed, at least some of this was tongue in cheek.
Yahya Birt provides a more considered perspective
http://www.masud.co.uk/ISLAM/misc/drugs.htm
I must also point out that assault of ones children in order to toughen them up is not part of “Islamic” parenting.
Assalamualaikum Br Baybers,
I came across this Contention of Shaikh Abdul Hakim Murad (Contentions 10 on masud.co.uk) that I feel would be of benefit to us all,-
A pious young cricketing fan,
Cheered Middlesex and Pakistan;
For with contemplation
On God’s revelation
He found neither team in the Koran
Kind of says it all doesn’t it?
On a related note: a former British footballer has been jailed for attacking a bouncer with an imaginary knife. Apparently, the bouncer received some very serious imaginary wounds.
Have you forgotten you are British?
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