It seems shameful now, but I have been through a self-help phase. Experiencing a downward spiral some time ago, I did what any intelligent person with an Internet connection would do: I ordered a bunch of self-help books from Amazon, relying on reader reviews to gauge their credibility and effectiveness.
Recently, I read the last of the books I had purchased: Optimal Thinking: How to Be Your Best Self. Littered with fluff and inane affirmations such as “I love myself unconditionally” and “Today is the best day of my life”, it was one of the most painful experiences I have endured. The entire book can be distilled to one sentence: “Positive thinking bad, optimal/constructive thinking good”. Yet the Amazon reviews raved and raved.
To the cynics among us, self-help conjures images of charismatic charlatans getting rich off the woes of the gullible. I have read my fair share of testimonials such as “Your 78-week program transformed me from a smelly hoboe to a successful male ballerina!”, and “When I put on my Enhancinator Cape ™ and recite my Enhancinator Power Statement ™, I just know I can do anything!”
As Muslims, we are no strangers to self improvement. The Quran, Hadiths, and Islamic literature in general are extremely motivational and inspiring. I can give you countless examples of encouraging words, awe-inspiring incentives, and detailed instructions for improving and developing one’s character, both personally and religiously.
So why is it, then, that Muslims are hopping on the distinctly Western self-help bandwagon? Hamza Yusuf famously referenced Stephen Covey’s The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. Random brothers swear by NLP mumbo jumbo. And then, of course, there is Muhammad Al-Sharif’s DiscoverU powerworkshops [sic]. From his website:
DiscoverU is the place where you can start massively improving your life game with coaches, teams, and technologies, to harness your unlimited potential.
Right.
In all honesty, you will find some merit to some of this stuff. In every field, there will always be a mix of the genuine and the fraudulent. For example, I wouldn’t group Dale Carnegie or David Allen along with Tony Robbins or Dr Phil. Nevertheless, I would rather err on the side of cynicism than fall prey to a conniving “guru”.
12 comments ↓
M,
you may love yourself, but I own myself AND I live my life out loud. There I said it and I feel better.
I live my life out loud!
I am life affirming, I have given myself some “Me time”. BTW I love myself too, i didn’t used too but when I read the book from that 10 foot tall guy with too many teeth, I learned to love myself right there in the bookshop.
I have also located my chakra, and for a $1000 in ten easy payments I can help you too.
Seriously though I can find no difference between the buffoonery of Deepak Chopra and the megachurch christian revivalist movement in christianity. Both are full of empty spirituality and narcissism.
At least when you targeted by a nigerian con-man he is merely an unpretentious villain making his way honestly in the world.
Great! A laugh for the day, thanks.
Wa Salams
I think what I find interesting in alot of these self-help books is that alot of Islamic principles are in there. You don’t really need to go there if you knew where to look in Islamic literature.
I have one or two of Dale Carnegie’s books and I like them. I think they are really common sense wrapped up in some good stories so it isn’t anything mumbo jumbo.
Dave Allen is more of an organisational guru than a self-help guru though. His GTD system is pretty good (if only I could get around to properly implementing it!).
Organisational advice is probably very helpful. I think it’s Anthony Robbins’ husky voice leading millions, lemming-like, to part with their cash that we should be cynical about.
Dr Phil for President!
For pure cultishness, you can’t go past the Landmark Forum.
I agree with you that you can find merit in many of these things. You have to take what works for you and implement it, and don’t worry about the rest. I was on a teleseminar last night with Ben Mack, Shila Fisher, Joost Van Der Leij and Todd Gaster talking about NLP and Marketing. They are doing a seminar in the Netherlands about “How to balance your life to the fullest by using the secret powers of the four elements: Earth, Water, Air and Fire”. Just another approach in the world of NLP and living your life to the fullest. www.thecoolestadintheworld.com is a one hour video of Ben and Joost teaching some of these ideas. It’s another approach to what you were talking about.
Honestly, I am prejudiced against all of this how-to-sort-out-your-life books. In other words, I don’t believe in gurus, whatever that means as they are pompous and self-righteous. I agree with Fatima:
“I think what I find interesting in alot of these self-help books is that alot of Islamic principles are in there. You don’t really need to go there if you knew where to look in Islamic literature.”
In fact, I’ll contend that these self-help books have extracted quotes and wisdom from religious texts and philosophy, which is all good, but I don’t agree with the writer who most likely doesn’t have a very smashing life. On the other hand, there is must wisdom to to found in the books of those who battled through issues and even fatal illnesses. There is sincerity to be found in their accounts.
The important distinction is between the guru who tells you how to live your life and the guy who just tells you a few tricks and techniques for organising your time or finding a new job. Or, to use some names, it’s the difference between Tony “Walk on Fire” Robbins, Deepak Chopra, and people like Dave “Getting things done” Allen. The second group are useful and I recommend them, but the first group are dangerous and will destroy your life. Many, many people gave thousands to people like Robbins or the Landmark Forum and ended up with nothing except a red face in front of their bemused colleagues.
There are two aspects to this,
the first is that sages of the past would dispense their advice free of charge. Prophets of God ( pBUH) were required to do so as an article of faith
the second is the quality of advice.
On both counts most self help gurus fail the test of community benefit, although they do live up to their titles because they do help themselves to immense wealth.
When I am forced into social conversation, I try as early as possible to apply the “Deepak Chopra test”. i.e. do you read/ benefit from /recommend DC? If the answer is yes to any 2 out of three of the questions, then it means that one can safely halt the conversation and move on to discussing anything with any other form of senescence in the room, such as a bumble bee..
I can happily boast I stayed away from the D.C. craze. I was wary of his snake oil ways that hooked so many.
Thanks for the point about the true sages offering their advice/help for free. No royalties from multinational corps ever came their way. Alhamdulillah.
Mohammed:
Thanks for raising this important issue. I think it’s great that you are exploring different life philosophies. With all due respect, I have a different viewpoint about “Optimal Thinking”. I read Rosalene Glickman’s book and have gone through the 100 day optimal thinking audio program. I found optimal thinking to be the missing link in all the studies I have undergone spiritually and practically. It gave me a down-to-earth formula to consistently be my personal best and lead others to be their best.
Thoughts are the parents of our experiences and learning how to optimize those thoughts empower us to be our very best. It is a new paradigm that goes beyond positive thinking, teaching us about our thinking habits and how to respect negative and positive thoughts and actions, and make the most of them. It is not a rose-colored glasses approach. Optimal thinking is realistic and we can all use it to make the most of our lives. Even though it appears simple, it dives into the core of our cognitive, emotional, and spiritual experience and shows us how to maximize it.
Thanks for your comments, Sam.
I’m not saying that the premise of the book is not useful. In fact, I found the first chapter intriguing, but I struggled to get through the rest. It was the page-filling fluff and the self-patronising affirmations I took issue with, which underscores some of the problems with the self-help movement.
In any case, I’m glad it works for you. Different strokes for different folks.
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