Saudi leaders are rarely ever seen or heard in the media for a variety of reasons, not least because they prefer to maintain a discreet public face. This does however lead to them being depicted in caricature, either as opaque inscrutable fanatics by elements in the western press or as insufficiently religiously sincere by Muslims who live in the West. What is uniform in these polar opposite critiques of Saudis is that they are both untroubled by actual experience of Saudi Arabia.

In this piece at the World Affairs Council, Prince Turki al Faisal speaks about Saudi attempts to liberalize their economy, the Q and A session is especially interesting and lasts 45 minutes.

The Prince has since resigned his commission as the Saudi Ambassador to the United States, theories differ as to why and may reflect Royal reaction to this piece in the Washington Post. More recently, Saudi Arabia has sought to distance itself from the increasingly pungent odour of the Bush Administration.

Melanie Phillips’ hand-wringing shrill polemic Londonistan seeks to sketch the radical Islamic underbelly of the nation’s capitol. Phillips who has no links to the Muslim community, has conducted no research or polling of her own, nonetheless seeks to interpret this diverse community to the world, and in doing so paints it in the worst possible light.

Her polemic against Muslims is so sustained, so virulent that I look forward to her weekly rants in the Daily Mail and to the deliciously nasty ones on her blog that Fleet Street dare not publish. Her latest tome Londonistan is a work of such high emotion that leaves one feeling drained and begging for respite. A sample of her somewhat disturbing intensity can be sampled here.

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Recently radio talk show host Don Imus made a racist remark about black American women. The remark was not an incitement to violence, nor was it done during a time of fitna (public disorder), yet for his sin he has been sacked from his program after both American Express and General Motors pulled their sponsorship of it. The right wing pundit is now pleading the victim in the whole affair.

Here in Australia, the media regulator has recently delivered a finding of “inciting violence and brutality” against radio chat show host Alan Jones. This is somewhat surprising given Jones long history of supporting Lebanese Muslims, and his principled history as a broadcaster.

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One week ago, the old parliament building hosted a public conference between Muslim and wider Australia, the culmination of which was a tearful rendition of Waltzing Matilda by former Prime Minister Bob Hawke. Alongside the good and the great were the ever growing class of Professional Public Muslims (PPM) who ply their trade of interpreting Muslim Australia to the wider community and lubricating the wheels of “community relations”.

I listened and read extracts of the entire proceedings and watched snippets of it on TV. My reaction was that the image of Islam we give to wider Australia is one of self pity, an exaggerated sense of victimhood and a demand that wider Australia fund our “rehabilitation” with public money.

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FGM (Female Genital Mutilation) has long been used as a hammer with which to beat Muslims, and especially us nasty wasty fundamentalists. The practice is confined largely to Sub-Saharan Africa, but as it is no longer acceptable to denigrate black people, they must be recast as Muslims so as to be collectively vilified. The small matter of the procedure being practiced by African Christians as well as Animists is conveniently ignored.

Enter stage left, the self-appointed protectors of black women who are largely white middle-class feministas with bright red-rimmed glasses, spiky hair and lips pursed tight with moral outrage and lipstick. These grim faced harridans always clutch the latest gospel (this week, it is the fraudulent asylum seeker Hirsi Ali’s tome, Caged Virgin).

However in a recent piece in the prestigious British Medical Journal, surgeons reveal the full extent and motivation of largely white women who pay top dollar to have their vaginas mutilated.

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A brother once told me “Islamic knowledge is the most important thing one will ever receive, more precious even than the food one eats, so think carefully from whom you take it.”

The most overused and abused term in the contemporary Australian Muslim vernacular is Sheikh, in its broadest meaning it means an elder who possess wisdom, but in the most correct classical usage a sheikh is a religious scholar of the sacred sciences, from Quranic exegesis to medicine and beyond. In the secular world its meaning is confined to the sacred religious sciences.

After reading mainstream Australian media I am surprised to find that “Sheikhs” are everywhere, and everywhere absurd. All the while, they dishonour the title they have awarded themselves. They shame themselves but more importantly they shame our teacher the Prophet of Allah, Muhammad (pbuh).

Several religious personalities have awarded themselves the title of Sheikh unilaterally; others have merely falsified their qualifications. These “pseudo sheiklets” can be seen duking it out on chatrooms and Islamic forums, WWF style. Still others acquire the mannerisms and feign the gravitas of true scholars without ever learning the humility.

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In today’s Guardian, a brilliant commentary on celebrities who enter rehab after a public meltdown.

“The question remains: how much of an atonement is it when you admit yourself and you’re not even really addicted to anything? What happens when you get to the Priory? Do they still go through your luggage and make you go to the group therapy, or are you allowed to just sit about looking glum? Doesn’t that drive the proper addicts crazy? Is it like AA – do you still have to go round all your family and friends when you get out, apologising for the time you arrived at their wedding/ bar mitzvah [not that] drunk, [really not at all] whacked out on drugs, [no more] unreliable and flaky [than the next man]? And if it is rehab lite, must one go residential? Couldn’t Jade have said sorry with a detox? Couldn’t she just have given up wheat, then put out a press release? “I may be guilty of racism, but I’ve eschewed doughnuts in penitence and, by the by, beaten my bloat!”

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Being a Muslim this is particularly shameful, but one of the few authentically halal places in Casablanca is the McDonald’s. It does not serve alcohol, nor does it have pork on the menu unlike most “Muslim” establishments nearby on the waterfront in Casablanca.

Surely the ultimate irony? The Trojan Horse of western cultural imperialism is the only one that feels the need to adhere to Islamic dietary principles in a predominately Muslim country.It speaks volumes about where the future of Islam will be.

Back to maccas. In a county that is poor and where the working class is resolutely observant only the secular middle classes can afford to eat at this place. The only other authentically halal places to eat were in the working class neighborhoods well away from our hotel. This was located on the waterfront next to the cathedral disguised as a Mosque.

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Many many years ago when I was a child, our family was on the same flight as The Pakistani cricket captain and matinée idol Imran Khan. The air hostesses were swooning over him in his business class seat. Where we were in steerage we had a clear view of proceedings. All of the children in our family were gradually becoming incensed at the behavior, but mostly we were very annoyed by the gormless performance of his cricket team. In true Lord of the Flies tradition (as children do) we bullied our youngest sister to go up and read the riot act to him, she was all of 7 years of age. When she finally arrived at his seat (after much cajoling) she stood rooted to the spot, unable to speak and staring blankly ahead. He (presumably in a jet lagged haze) signed a napkin and abruptly invited her to be on her way. She returned, mortified and humiliated.

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As the English seek to impose their values on immigrants, we say to Muslims don’t do it, its tantamount to child abuse.

Cricket takes a long time to play, when overseas touring teams come to Australia, we can see close up what they are like, Pakistanis are aggressive, rude and oscillate between menacing and lazy (in equal measure), fine boned Indians are unfailingly polite as they unfailingly capitulate to the hosts, but for outright cowardice, none lay a glove on the Engerlanders. This tour was no exception.

This time around the tour got off to a typical start with one of the senior English batsmen stating that he was looking forward to the toughness of the series, seven days later he was off home with his tail between his legs after being “diagnosed” with a stress related illness for which I believe the medical jargon is “running home to mummy”. Before everyone erupts and tells me about the epidemic of depression etc, I should say that I do have sympathy with the well documented plight of the millionaire international sportsman, which ranks just above the Darfurian child or the Gazan teenager as the most hostile emotional environment on earth.

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