Entries Tagged 'Humour' ↓

When Rabbis attack

The best bit is at the end

FYI, this talk is HAZ-MAT

Phillip Coorey has a humorous op-ed in today’s Sydney Morning Herald about Kevin Rudd’s increasing — and unrestrained — use of acronyms. Hey, I’m all for the everyday FAQ, IOU, PS, ATM and ASAP. But there is a limit to how much we should invoke acronyms, particularly in conversation. Right? Not sure? See below.

Ever since Washington, where Rudd cooly dropped the acronym CSBM (confidence- and security-building measures) during an address to foreign policy wonks at the Brookings Institution, collecting examples of what Rudd calls “geek talk” has become a trip favourite.

At the NATO summit in Bucharest, where Rudd spoke of war in terms of establishing and measuring performance benchmarks, the ABC’s Louise Yaxley asked him whether the leaders had streamlined the rules of engagement that apply to the NATO soldiers.

“You mean RoEs,” said Rudd.

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Muslim Leadership Training Program

In The Australian today, Dr Ameer Ali says enough is enough and it’s time Australians got to see an alternative to the Muslim fanatics.

“Right now, the moment you say Muslims, people tend to think these guys are fanatics who are always praying and have beards. That’s wrong because the majority of Muslims are not like that. We have to demolish this image – the stereotyping of the Muslims who are currently all seen as religious people.”

To order to combat the destructive stereotypes identified by Dr Ali — beards, praying, etc. — young Muslims might consider attending an exciting new Muslim Leadership Training program in order to attain the necessary skills and experience to operate under the proposed model. Here is a short promotional video for the program:

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Clarkson calls for sharia

Small wonder the Archbishop of Canterbury announced, just 24 hours later, that he wants sharia law in Britain. He was mocked, of course, but come on: Muslimism lets you throw apple cores onto the grass verge and swim with the dolphins and make telephone calls without having a Scottish man grunting and moaning in the background. Plus, we’d have the added benefit of being able to dismember shoplifters.

Also, though I have only a scant acquaintance with the Koran, I’m fairly certain it contains no call for motorists to be fleeced, hounded, mocked and, worst of all, held up on purpose by a swarm of power-crazed traffic wombles.

Here, Here! Anyone who has experienced a Riyadh street in a high performance car will know what freedom truly is. Jeremy Clarkson’s full piece is here

Arab gangsters hitting hard

Last week, Melbourne newspaper readers were greeted by the news that a group of Arab youths had formed a gang called, of all things, Arabian Soldiers Arab Defenders and were squabbling with their rivals on the other side of the city. The story was accompanied by three gangsters of supposedly Middle Eastern appearance with their faces concealed:

“Give it tomorrow, give it a year. We will hit back 10 times harder,” said Ronni, leader of northern gang ASAD or Arabian Soldiers Arab Defenders.

Let’s face it, nothing says “tough guy” quite like a paisley handkerchief wrapped cowboy-style around one’s face. And Ronni is one of the most menacing monickers for a gang leader since Tookie burst on to the scene.

But, in an Austrolabe exclusive, we can reveal for the first time the other members of the feared Arab Soldiers Arab Defenders:

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Le Idiot

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(via The Other Cheek)

Snowball’s chance in hell

First, poor Mrs Gibbons is imprisoned for letting the children in her class choose an inappropriate name for a teddy bear and now this. An Australian citizen — also living overseas in a violent and primitive society — now finds himself facing injustice meted out at the end of a gravel.

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Iraqi Army Training

The “good news”, as they say, from Iraq is that that:

In the last six months, the Iraqi Army and Iraqi Police have made great improvements under the guidance of 1st Battalion The Irish Guards.

Extensive footage of the crack Iraqi army training under the guidance of the Western armed forces over the fold.

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The Logic of the Situation?

And now for some comic relief…

Peter Faris, QC explains the “logic of the situation”:

1. It cannot be denied that (whatever the number) that there are some terrorists in Australia.
2. All or some of these terrorists are Muslims.
3. Thus there are Muslim terrorists in Australia.
4. A number of Australian Muslims support Islamic terrorism, to a greater or lesser extent.
5. All these terrorists and supporters live in the Austsralian Muslim community.
6. It is difficult if not impossible to identify in advance exactly who are terrorists and supporters.
7. Accordingly, as specific identification is impossible, all Australian Muslims must be treated with suspicion.
8. If all Muslims are treated as possible suspects, then there Civil Rights will inevitably be curtailed (in various ways).
9. These limitations are not the fault of the “racist”, mainstream Australians. It is the fault of Muslims themselves by permitting terrorists to live unidentified amongst them.

Angry Muslims? There’s just one of them

In the West, when people want to make a political point and speak truth to power, they know that nothing says we-mean-business quite like a giant paper mache head. But, if the television footage is to be believed, Muslims in the Muslim world do things a little bit differently: it’s rage, rage, rage and, if they are really angry, rage.

But, how many angry Muslims are there really in these protests? Continue reading →